If appetite comes with eating, it is sometimes more delicate with sexuality. However, easy solutions to implement exist. The point with our experts, if the desire is no longer there.
It can start with a simple laziness ("Tonight, I don't really feel like it, darling") and turn into a notice of unlimited strike of activities under the covers. Stop the carnage! Making love is excellent for your health for an infinite number of reasons, in addition to the pleasure felt: stimulation of the heart rate, release of feel-good hormones but also oxytocin and melatonin (which promote quality sleep ), reduction of stress and anxiety, development of better self-esteem. In short, only happiness. Except that even though we know all this, the desire is sometimes no longer there at all. So what to do when the libido runs away?
Stimulate your erotic imagination
For Flore Cherry, a sexuality specialist and author of various "sexual survival guides" for parents , shy people , and business girls (Ed. Tabou), "it's not always easy to reconnect with desire when you live under the same roof, or even when you telework together." Rather than taking some distance (a weekend each on your own), which is sometimes considered (wrongly) beneficial, the specialist suggests rediscovering a form of sensuality together. No need to launch into a Kama Sutra figure if nothing has happened between you for months... Before getting back on the path of acrobatic sex, you need to connect together to an erotic imagination. Listen to podcasts on sexuality, read erotic books, watch films together, in short, restart the process using your mind.
- The easy exercise to do : remember the precious moments from the very beginning of your story ("the honey moon phase") and talk about it together over a good glass of wine, to let go. "Do you remember when...".
Go through the body
It is also very important to take charge of your body. Taking care of it means making yourself beautiful (for yourself first, then for others) or treating yourself to a few massage sessions (alone or as a couple).
Natalie Pellerin, naturopath , health coach, yoga/meditation teacher and author of "Reboost, redevenez maître de votre santé en 21 jours" (Ed. La Plage) also suggests yoga positions to "get energy circulating again in the lower body at the level of the sacred chakra" . In the event of loss of libido, the expert suggests "programming sun salutation sequences every day" as well as a powerful Kundalini yoga exercise to better "channel sexual energy and strengthen the genitals" . Its name? Sat Kriya. "Sitting on your heels or on a chair, you must rely on the sound SAT by "pushing" the navel inwards and the sound NAM by releasing it outwards." To be practiced for three minutes a day. The yoga teacher also suggests stimulating the perineum for women by contracting all the muscles in this region. The important thing? Visualize the energy that is unfolding in this area. To learn more, you can find Natalie Pellerin's advice on her site "Un monde biologique".
Move! It's proven that sport boosts libido
Sport promotes self-esteem and letting go. After 30 to 40 minutes of exercise, our body secretes endorphins, also called pleasure hormones. "These endorphins improve libido and help fight stress, one of the main causes of decreased sexual activity," explains sexologist Magali Croset-Calisto.
A study also showed that when engaging in regular physical activity, 60% of women declared themselves more daring. As for men, 80% felt more attractive, confident and 71% found themselves more efficient.
- Easy exercise to do : do sports together! A jog, a game of tennis, a hike, a bike ride, it's so easy. You will both benefit from the effects of sport on the secretion of endorphins, and your bond will be strengthened.
Using the power of stones
No question here of telling you, drop in libido… put three pink stones under your pillow and everything will be better. For Morgane Jorge, lithotherapist and founder of the Stones Club website, “a loss of libido is a sign of a loss of overall energy”. And, as many customers are affected by this problem, the crystal expert has developed a Vitality Kit for €34.90 which will boost energy in general and libido in particular.
Made up of three soft and powerful stones: Breschia Jasper (vitality and anchoring stone), Citrine (against fatigue) and Sunstone (to free yourself from fears and gain confidence), this kit will allow you to start working on yourself to reconnect with energy.
You can take the stones with you, day or night, put them on your desk or near your bed. Morgane Jorge also suggests an original use: "prepare yourself a bath with coarse salt to remove all bad energies, and put your stones at the edge of the bathtub or in the water (these support salt and water well). Take advantage of this moment to reconnect with your inner resources, the stones are not magic, they are there to accompany you on your path to awareness, they will help you achieve your intentions. "
If loss of libido sets in, note that this may be an indicator of hormonal imbalance or depression. Do not hesitate to talk to your doctor about it.
